QUESTION AND ANSWER [ONE]
*If you tell someone you like them and they say they’re not ready for a relationship right now because of a recent heartbreak or some other reason, what would you do? Would you give them some time and keep trying, or would you just move on?*
*Here’s the honest breakdown, no sugarcoating:*
- *1. First, believe their words*
When someone says “I’m not ready because of heartbreak”, 90% of the time they mean it. Don’t argue with their pain. Don’t say “But I’ll heal you”. That puts pressure on them and turns love into a project.
Proverbs 4:23 “Guard your heart”. That applies to them too. A broken heart needs space, not a new person to fix it.
*2. Then check your motive: “Do I like THEM, or the idea of them?”*
Ask yourself 2 questions:
- If they never change their mind, can I still respect them?
If the answer is no, then you didn’t like them. You liked access. - Am I patient, or just persistent? Patience waits without pressure. Persistence ignores “no”. One builds trust. One kills it.
-
So what should you do?options, pick based on your motive*
Option A:Give space + move on, but leave door open
This is the healthiest move 80% of the time.
*Do this: “I hear you. Thank you for being honest. I like you, but I respect your healing. I’m not going anywhere as a friend, but I won’t pressure you. If things change for you later, let’s talk. If not, I wish you healing.”
Why: You honor them + protect yourself. You don’t become their “rebound experiment”. And you don’t waste years waiting.
Option B: Stay as genuine friend, zero agenda
Only do this if you can truly handle “just friends” without bitterness.
Rule: No flirting, no “waiting in the corner”, no jealousy when they date others. If you can’t do that, you’re not friends. You’re a hopeful ex-in-waiting. That hurts both of you.
Option C: Keep trying / chase them
This feels romantic in movies. In real life it’s called pressure. Someone healing from heartbreak + someone chasing them = they’ll resent you later, even if they say “yes” now. Love that starts with pressure rarely lasts.
Spirit-filled angle for you
1 Corinthians 13:5 “Love does not insist on its own way”. Real love protects, even when it costs you. If you truly like them, you’ll want what’s best for them – even if “what’s best” is you stepping back.
And for you: God sees your heart. A “no” from a person is not a “no” from God about your future. Don’t let one person’s timing make you bitter. Your wife is not a woman who needs convincing. She’ll be free to love you back.
*Bottom line is:*
Give them time, but don’t put your life on hold. Give space = respect. Move on = wisdom. Keep trying = pressure.
If they’re truly for you, healing will happen and paths will cross again without force. If not, God saved you from building on a broken foundation.
Question for you: In this situation, which one is harder for you – giving space, or moving on? Be honest. I’ve been there too.
And remember: The right person won’t make you beg for a chance. They’ll meet you with “me too” energy, not “not ready” energy.
written by Ojoko Eric E.
Relationship/Marriage councilor
Jun, 2026
you contact me on ojoko12@gmail.com
+2347035788468, +2347016986221
QUESTION AND ANSWER [TWO] LOADING….
